The World From 3' High

How did I gain perspective last week?
I traded one two year old for twenty of them.

As part of a job interview I volunteered a few hours in the local Montessori school. The job was described to me as a Two Year Old Specialist. I smiled, thinking I got this in the bag, I have both personally and professionally watched 4 boys grow through ages 1-3. Including my own who's presently 7 months in to being two.

The director and I chatted about a few characteristics of two year old's so we can show each other that we understand what it really means to have a preschool room specifically for two's. Low impulse control, strong emotions, the need for physical help to do most fine motor skills, and minimal short term memory. We discussed behavior management techniques including a cool down place, neither punitive or rewarding. Just a place to be with your emotions of sadness or anger until you feel they've passed and you can then continue on where ever you left off. (Who wouldn't benefit from doing that every once and a while?)

As much as I know all of this, and can practice it in a professional setting, at home it seems to all fall apart.

When you're with a child (or a pet) who can, for the most part, communicate day in day out, you can seemingly see sophistication in their every move. In turn, you start to see them as older and more mature than they are. Your expectations go up and you expect that they can retain information and apply it in the right situation as well. We see malicious intent in their actions as if to seek to ruin your day. We think they see our weakened  concentration by being on the phone and choose then to use your curtains as a cape, while they're still attached to the wall. Maybe they do, and developmentally it's a success that they are capable of capitalizing on a situation. My love for that age and stage can see that. Sometimes though, being on the job 24 hours a day for years can leave one feeling breathless with the amount of verbal instruction they need to navigate through the world every day. I'll sadly admit that's how I've been feeling a lot of the time lately. 

On that day at the school, I became refreshed.

I observed little tiny people with their emotions on their fresh faces, standing no more than three feet off the ground, each bore a unique expression. Sulking, hesitant, friendly from afar. Bewildered, trusting, sad, and skeptical. They have no ability to hide their feelings, they just stand there with their hearts on their sleeves, right there beside the snot slime and dry leaves.

Some easily melt into your lap when they need a hug. Others need to be sure that you're the right person to provide the comfort they crave, once they've come to terms with  the fact that mommy's not coming back this very second. Feeling a mother's love for each of these babes, I had to jump in and try and win these heartbroken toddlers over. If my child was feeling that sad (or happy) I'd want to be right there with them. When leaving your child with someone else you pray that that person will be there for them like you would, I feel that's the most important part of working in childcare, far above a neutral colored environment and educationally stimulating specialty toys. 

I spent a few hours away from my two year old and instead spent the time with twenty of them, it was the perfect remedy for a perspective shift. I could now see the innocence back in his face, the fun and love that he so willingly gives to everyone. We've been having less tantrums, squabbles and spats since I started bringing my work home with me, once again trying to channel Nanny Leah back into my motherhood.